already been said: Bathroom Etiquette 101: Ch. 1 Sané Steps

It may have become evident by now that I enjoy bathrooms. Besides being a great place to do bathroom modeling, it is also a fine spot to do some meditating. Just pick a note and harmonize with the electric noise buzzing from the walls. However, what I do not like is trying to put the sanitary seats on toilets while doing the pee-pee dance. I clumsily rip the upside-down head from the tissue and place it carefully on the seat. The head falls into the bowl and by the time I get my bloomers down the entire sani* has sunk into the bowl. Hopefully I have caught myself before my bare cheeks reach the cold porcelain. But you can never be too sure while doing the pee-pee dance. One day I decided to rip only the top piece from the sani. And it worked perfectly. Why haven't I been told this before? Of all my years of existence, never was I taught the appropriate way to cover my seat! So today I will give a step-by-step instruction on how to cover a public toilet.

1. Locate the sanitary seats usually affixed to the adjacent wall.

2. Grasp one sani.

3. Gently pull the tissue upwards. CAUTION: Excessively eager pulling (generally done during the pee-dance) may cause tissue paper to tear.

4. Locate the bottom of the upside-down-head cut-out.

5. Carefully tear the connecting tissue ONLY at the bottom.

6. Place the sani on top of the toilet seat.

7. Repeat steps 1 through 6 until the desired level of seat protection is reached.
8. Sit on the seat and proceed as normal.

Lessons for future blogs: "alternative bathrooms" and "stocking up on supplies".